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Evening blub, you may be seated now I've waddled to the front row. I though tonight we could go over Barnes' Notes on the bible.

Not greedy of filthy lucre - Not contentious or avaricious. Greek, Not desirous of base gain. The desire of this is condemned everywhere in the New Testament; but it is especially the duty of a minister of the gospel to be free from it. He has a right to a support (see the notes on 1 Corinthians 9); but there is nothing that more certainly paralyzes the usefulness of a minister of the gospel than the love of money. There is an instinctive feeling in the human bosom that such a man ought to be actuated by a nobler and a purer principle. As avarice, moreover, is the great sin of the world - the sin that sways more hearts, and does more to hinder the progress of the gospel, than all others combined - it is important in the highest degree that the minister of religion should be an example of what men "should" be, and that he, by his whole life, should set his face against that which is the main obstruction to the progress of that gospel which he is appointed to preach.

http://bible.cc/1_timothy/3-3.htm

My apologies for shouting the underlined bit, but whenever will you EB understand ?

What's with you guys all being fat and "waddling" down the aisle?

If there is anything to turn a sister off, it's the extra rolls around the girth.
Cast your mind back to Blub Fred's belt (under/over) dilema, and you'll understand what I mean.

Fat, flakey and fraudulent - can it get any worse?

Let me read you something from a real Bible (NIV)

Luke 18, 18-23

A certain ruler asked him, "Good teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?"
"Why do you call me good?" Jesus answered. "No one is good - except God alone.
You know the commandments: 'Do not commit adultery, do not murder, do not steal, do not give false testimony, honor your father and mother."
"All these I have kept since I was a boy," he said.
When Jesus heard this, he said to him, "You still lack one thing. Sell everything you have and give it to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me."
When he heard this he became very sad, because he was a man of great wealth.
Jesus looked at him and said, "How hard is it for the rich to enter the kingdom of God! Indeed, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."

bold = my emphasis

“Fat, flakey and fraudulent - can it get any worse?” asks our sister.

Oh yes it can, and it has done!

What about fanaticism, fantasy and folly?
What about hatred, hubris and humbug?
What about corrupt commanders, craven creeps and captive Christians?
What about pontificating prats, perverted priests and persecuted plebs?

Fat can be cured by diet and exercise; flakey can be alleviated by medications and sunshine; but these other problems are not so easily fixed.

All rise....Blub Fred has entered the building!

Hey - can I now advance one row for this?

Elvis has left the building.

Be wary of imposters, frauds, liars and cheats....

Blub Fred NEVER addressed a meeting with, "G'day"

I bow in the presence of the erect vessel.

But will he stand up for me? I used to stand up for him!! No more.

Nicht mehr Errichtungen!

I'd be happy to represent you too, fisherman. I have a special deal on this week for assembly discipline. I can negotiate your being shut up for ten weeks for only a six week offence.

I only wish this system would let me put an apostrophe after Flintstone - it grates with me every time!!